So, I’m getting ready to turn the big 4.0! I always imagined that I would feel some type of angst about turning 40, but now that it’s almost here (like a few weeks away), I feel the opposite. I’m grateful that I have been for 4 decades.  I’ve learned who I am and who I’m not. I’ve learned the real definition of love and friendship. I know what it means to be a mother. I’ve experienced pain and I’ve also experience some of the happiest moments in my life during the past 4 decades.  But most importantly, I’ve made many mistakes and I know I’m a bit wiser because of them. So, in honor of my upcoming 40th birthday, I decided to share 40 lessons I’ve learned over the past 4 decades.


  1. There’s a difference between knowing the truth and telling the truth.
  2. Sometimes it’s okay for you to know the truth, yet keep it to yourself.
  3. Only time and healthy conflict will tell you who your true friends are.
  4. No one can be happy all the time, but sadness doesn’t last forever.
  5. You must be very intentional about not replacing real connection with social media connection. Be sure to connect with positive people in person, so you can vibe off each others’ energy.
  6. Painful life experiences are inevitable, especially if you’re actually living. You must do something with that pain, instead of letting it consume you.
  7. Music can actually be very therapeutic.
  8. Make as many mistakes as you can because that’s how you learn. Don’t be afraid to take lots of risks.
  9. Life gets more and more comfortable when you start to get more and more comfortable with yourself.
  10. Gossip is unnecessary.
  11. If you do encounter those gossiping people, pay more attention to the gossipers than the person being gossiped about.
  12. You can’t move forward with what’s meant to be, if you still stuck on what used to be.
  13. There is no point, absolutely no point worrying about things you can’t control. However, that’s so much easier said than done.
  14. Every time you say yes to someone who doesn’t deserve your best, you are saying no to someone who does.
  15. Superwoman is NOT real! I don’t have to try to be her. I can focus on trying to be myself.
  16. I should only compare myself to myself. But again, that’s easier said than done.
  17. The quickest way to fall apart is to pretend like you have it all together, all the time.
  18. Don’t be so consumed with saving everyone else that you forget to save yourself. You can’t rescue anyone if your LIFE jacket is torn to shreds.
  19. Self-care is a necessity! You can’t pour into others from an empty cup.
  20. Sometimes you have to get extremely uncomfortable to get comfortable.
  21. Forgiveness is the most powerful gift you can give to yourself.
  22. Your children will learn more by watching what you do instead of listening to what you say.
  23. Just because you’re a parent doesn’t mean you don’t make mistakes.
  24. Admit those mistakes, apologize to your children for them and they will be better because of it.
  25. Stepfamilies are extremely difficult to navigate. We can make them harder by trying to create something based off unrealistic expectations.
  26. Michael Jackson, Whitney Houston and Prince are musical legends, and few have come close to achieving their level of musical genius.
  27. Exercise is a necessity; not only for that metabolism that slows down when you hit 40, but also for your sanity.
  28. Sometimes you have to let it go. Whatever your “it” is, just let it go.
  29. Your style is whatever you feel best in.
  30. Know the bible and His word for yourself.
  31. Don’t hold a grudge; it only hurts you.
  32. Don’t hold in how you feel because that hurts you, too.
  33. A few good people who add value to your life are better than a bunch of people who subtract from it.
  34. Doing what you love can add years to your life.
  35. Communication is necessary to resolve conflict. However, silence can be just as necessary when resolving conflict.
  36. You know you feel comfortable with who you are when you’re okay with being alone with her.
  37. Love and support come in forms that you least expect. Don’t get caught up in what you think that SHOULD look like.
  38. When you do the work, anxiety and depression is 100% treatable.
  39. You get more from group exercise classes than just exercise. You get support, laughs, hugs and great energy. Take a Zumba class. It’ll be good for your soul.
  40. It’s okay to say no, but don’t let fear keep you from saying yes.